Hollywood is lacking imagination

I have noticed that some of the newer movies coming out lack the spark that movies of the previous era have. I try to stay up to date on new movies in the makings, and this is what I found.

A-Team – Yup, they are making an A-Team movie… actually you can see the trailer for it here.  The A-Team was a group of ex-military commando’s who were wrongfully imprisoned for a crime they didn’t commit. They escape and spend their lives helping people in need, and never accepting payment. They blew up everything in their path, and yet, no one ever seemed to die. Cars would flip-over 16 times, explode into flames, and then the driver would get out of the car. They would shoot 10,000 rounds of ammunition at 2 people, and they would never hit them. (This is as ridiculous as villains shooting Superman, and then when they are out of bullets, throwing the gun at him.) The only way this movie will work is if they shoot and kill someone in the opening credits. That will get our attention and make us realize it’s not the same old thing.

The Love Boat – OMG! The Love Boat? That was the show where canceled TV show stars, and soap opera stars went… well, that and Fantasy Island. If you never saw The Love Boat, I will sum it up for you. A half dozen people with relationship problems board a cruise ship. They go to Puerto Vallarta, and/or get to sit at the Captain’s table for dinner, and by the end of the cruise all is fixed. Relationship problems solved. So, some brilliant mind in Hollywood says, “YES! This will be a great movie.”

Gilligan’s Island – Are you kidding me? All I want to know is this … how can you take 7 people on a three hour tour, and strand them on a deserted island for 15 years, in a 2 hour movie? At least with the TV show there was a sense of time-passing. With a movie, you get up to go pee and you come back and find them rescued, and on a reunion tour.

I’m starting to think that the Hollywood movie executives are too young to remember these shows, and the hot-shot older writers are pitching the ideas like they are new. (“You see a wise-cracking old man and his son run a junk yard, and they have arguments all the time. I call it, “Sanford and Son”)

Based on “Hollywood” math, within the next 10-15 years we will see movies called “Friends”, “Seinfeld”, “Frasier” , “Cheers”, “Spin City”… please don’t make me go on.

Some of us have had the nightmare of sitting though more recent remakes like “The Brady Buch”, “Dukes of Hazzard”, “Starsky and Hutch”, “I, Spy”, (Please, someone stop me!) “Charlies Angles”, “The Beverly Hillbillies”, “S.W.A.T.”, and “Flipper”.

Okay, I’ll stop. But come on Hollywood, I can write a program that can generate better script ideas than you guys come up with. Matter of fact, I’ve written one

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